Fred Rogers on Forgiveness

So many people have asked me, “Do you ever get mad?”

Of course I answer, “Well yes! Everyone gets made sometimes.”

The important thing is what we do with the mad that we feel in life. A few weeks ago, on my way home from a particularly tough day at work, I stopped to see my two grandsons. Their mom and dad weren’t there, but the boys were there with the babysitter in the back yard, squirting water with hoses. I could see that they were really having fun — but I felt I needed to let them know that I didn’t want to be squirted.

So I told them so.

And little by little, I could feel that the older boy, Alexander, was testing the limit, until finally his hose was squirting very close to where I was standing. I said to him in my harshest voice, “OK, that’s it, Alexander. Turn off the water. You’ve had it.”

He did as I told him, said he was sorry, and looked very sad. The more I thought about it, the sadder I got. I realized that Alexander had not squirted me, and that I had stepped into his and his brother’s play, with a lot of feelings left over from work.

So when I got home, I just called Alexander on the phone. I told him I felt awful about my visit with him. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was taking out my anger from work on him. I told him I was really sorry.

Do you know how he answered me? He said, “Oh Bubba (he calls me Bubba), Oh Bubba, everybody makes mistakes sometimes.”

I nearly cried. I was so touched by his naturally generous heart. And I realized that if I hadn’t called him, I might not have ever received that wonderful gift of Alexander’s sweet forgiveness.

+ Fred Rogers

[You can watch and listen to him tell this story here.]